World Famous? Nah

I daresay it's time the Topeka Zoo remove the "World Famous" moniker...

While this has been a passing thought over the years, I hadn't scoped birds there since my last field trip in the fifth grade, so I didn't feel qualified to make the final declaration. But considering it was BBQ at the Zoo on Saturday (free food, my friends), I decided to take Angel for a little look-see. I was scammed by grandma into taking her little brother too.

So hand-in-hand we stalked tigers, peered at monkeys, and nuzzled lions (albeit a dead one). Realistically, we could have seen everything in the zoo in under thirty minutes, even dodging oversized strollers and wandering kids. Very few exotic animals are left on the premises and the ones in the cages looked bored and beaten into a sad existence, like Picasso forced to crunch numbers in a cubicle 24 hours a day.

Now, let's get something clear--I'm not a zoo expert. But I doubt I'd drive across town to see this zoo again, let alone come from Zimbabwe or Namibia. So how about being a bit more realistic and changing the name to "The Topeka Zoo--It's All We Got" or "The Locally Abstained from Topeka Zoo"? Ah, yes, my marketing professors would be proud.