Boo at the Zoo

Saturday, I took Angel and her little brother to Boo at the Zoo (trick-or-treating at the zoo). Gasp…this would be 2 trips in one year for me. Angel was a spider witch and her brother was Spiderman. . I wore an old dance team sweatshirt from college, so when Angel asked me what I was, I said I was a Dancing Blue. She bought it. :) They each received a ton of candy and had fun looking at the poor, caged animals. We even finally spotted the sloth! A special thanks to my friend from work, who was volunteering that day, for showing us around and fielding all of Angel’s questions. Your patience was muchly appreciated.

Now, of course, many religious folks do not celebrate this “pagan” holiday. My childhood Halloween thoughts: I get to wear whatever crazy outfit I want…spray paint my hair…wear makeup…walk around the town after dark with my friends…and get enough free candy for a continuous three-week stomach ache. Never once did I associate this day with any evil or satanistic thoughts or activities. Maybe it is okay to let kids be kids, to free their innocent creativity and dreams to be someone else for a day, and let them enjoy interacting with neighbors and eating too much sugar and chocolate. We should take every opportunity to infuse the darkness with light anyhow. Let’s at least wait until they are in their teens to inject them with our grown up bitterness and legalism.

Walk the Walk

A large part of being a Christian is lip service. I say I believe in the Bible and that sinning is wrong. But do I live what I believe? Does every aspect of my life ooze righteousness, or do I just talk a good game, like the Chief’s defensive line?

As time and again I have felt let down by my closest friends and family members for not living up to their promises, I have decided to take a close look at myself. Sadly, no, I have not always lived up to my own expectations, maybe even lowering my standards at some points in my life. I’m sure everyone can attest to the same. But from now on, instead of judging anyone else’s poor decisions, I need to spend time making sure I am walking uprightly and keeping my mouth shut.

Let Freedom Ring

Lately, a few of my non-Christian friends have made comments saying that to become a follower of Jesus, you have to give up all the fun things of the world. That there is a strict set of rules we must follow and that we are never allowed to sin again. (Darn Pharisees still bugging us!)

The truth is that Jesus sets us free. Free from the bondage of sin. We are no longer under the constraints of evil and actually have the necessary power to be victors. Jesus wants us exactly as we are right now, issues and all. His time on earth was spent with "thieves, sluts, and liars," not the religious, upright, or uptight. Jesus’ blood set us free from the old rules. It becomes all about love and a relationship with the only person who truly understands us anyhow. We are still human and everyday we walk this earth we will make mistakes and have our vices to deal with. But now, we no longer walk alone, and are covered by the undeserved grace and mercy of our Lord.

Yes, we are held to a higher standard than the rest of the world. Every day we will be tempted and we will be shaped and molded into a better person, how we were created, more like our Jesus.

I'm a forgetful person. Actually, I'm very good at memorization, but when it comes to the details of life, I struggle remembering the date. My mind rarely shuts down and prefers to run at mach 800, like my brain is the narrator of my life. I come up with funny or brilliant dialogue that I wish my friends would say so we could engage in witty banter or I focus on a weird characteristic of a person and try to think of way to incorporate it in my writings. The only way such things as dropping off library books or loading the dishwasher gets done is if I have it on my list. I make daily, weekly, and long term lists to aid in my endeavor to live a normally productive life.

But one thing, I have neglected to put on my list was to use gift cards. They are always a popular gift, and one I enjoy receiving. But if it isn't to a bookstore, then it gets meticulously placed in my wallet, probably behind the expired coupons I've been meaning to use for over a month. Needless to say, when I cleaned out my wallet last week, I found a vast assortment of gift cards, which for the most part were still valid. The total amount was way more exciting than the random twenty I found in my coat pocket last year.

Well, I better run. I have to make it to dinner at Cracker Barrel before my card expires. :)

Trapped...

Today, I feel trapped in the four walls of my office. It’s a nice office with plenty of room for at least two people, with even a couple of pictures hanging that allude to a “Quiet Walk” in the forest or an icy drive along a snow ridden country road. But with those and even a large window hinting at what lies beyond, I still feel as though life is passing me by, while I idly slave away in my dungeon. That by sitting in front of my computer for another four hours will rob me of the chance to enjoy not only one of the first cold days of the season, but of the experience of encountering God.

It’s not that God isn’t with me right now, but I can feel His presence when I am most vulnerable to the elements -- in the cleansing power of the wind, the bold colors and contrasts of sky, the tangible feel of the earth beneath my feet, and especially around the dangerous crashing of the waves in the endless ocean. There is nothing that compares to the experience of worshipping God and Him loving back on you. Nothing.

And it’s what I need. Now. Always.

Do as You Say Not as You Want

I was going to regale you with a thrilling story about riding a motorcycle way too fast this past weekend. With the wind blowing through my long, luscious locks of chocolate brown hair, while cruising past grazing horses and green fields, I basked under a clear blue sky and felt like I should be on the cover of a risky romance novel. Perhaps Fabio should replace my dad in the driver’s seat, however. Oh, and remove that helmet, it really cramps the whole hair blowing scenario.

But since this is my blog, I have decided to vent for a moment. People, if you aren’t willing to follow through on obligations, DON’T commit. We all have to do things we don’t like or enjoy, but if you are just going to end up bailing at the last second and leave someone else in a bind, don’t say “yes” in the first place. It’s disrespectful and rude. And I am referring to both big and little commitments. Don’t tell me you are going to call and then don’t. Or don’t agree to help with a project and not follow through. At least give me the courtesy of giving an honest “no” up front. I’ll respect you for it and we’ll get along just fine.

Now go ride a motorcycle and delight in God’s creations. It’s freeing and fabulous. And it’ll make you forget all the annoying stuff in your life, if only for a few minutes.

Long Time No Write

The last few months have been a crazy ride, and I’m still trying to adjust to my new hectic schedule. I started two new jobs, a church group, a different church, and the process of getting my first book out on the shelves. Hopefully blogging will once again make the priority list. Right after trying to remember everyone’s names that I have recently met. :)

In regards to my book, I received my first batch of edits yesterday. They came earlier than anticipated, and despite being excited about the prospect of improving my book, nervousness impaled my innards during the five (loooong) seconds it took my computer to open the word document. Minor adjustments, people. Minor?!? Surprised, delighted, disappointed, delighted, confused, delighted. I wish I could say I ended with being delighted, but my mixed feelings preferred to cause turmoil and wreak havoc on their host.

But I digress. The point of this blog was just to let you all know that…I’M BACK! Inevitably, with more randomness than necessary.

Concerts Galore

I love live music, but residing in the fascinating and culture rich city of Topeka, Kansas, does have its disadvantages. *partially dripping in sarcasm* So, any chance an artist I like plays close, I try to attend. Last week, I fit in three concerts for a mere $10.

First off was Faith Hill and Tim McGraw on their Soul2Soul Tour. Hmmm...unexpectedly boring. The problem could have been that I was so far away that I had to look at the giant screen to discern Faith from her back up singers. But, alas, the seats were free, so we left them early and beat the crowd out of the arena (and before we suffered irreparable nose bleeds).

Secondly was Kelly Clarkson. We were blessed with a gorgeous evening of near perfect temperatures. Her music is fantastic but her stage presence is lacking in entertainment. Good thing this was free too, or I would have been severely disappointed after her 45 minute set ended abruptly and we were forced to head home before the sun set. (Now, if Graham Colton was still opening for her, my opinion of the concert in its entirety would be different. :) )

Last, and most definitely not least was the Locash Cowboys. They ROCK--for merely $10! Their original music could use...well, new writers. BUT, if you want to be purely entertained and find yourself losing track of three hours of your life, go see these Nashville "gentle"men. Cute girls be forewarned...

First Book Deal

Well, today I was offered my first children's book deal. Yippee! It was thrilling to get such great feedback from an editor. However, as I reviewed the contract, there were some definite red flags and questions that I had. So...I'm going to chew on the details for a couple days, ask questions to some of my writer friends, and hopefully by next week I'll know if Cinderella's slipper is a size 8. If not, I'm still thankful for God sending me some (much needed) encouragement.

As a good friend reminded me today: "Sometimes the Lord doesn't give us what we want, but what we need." Amen.

Angel Updates

Angel is no longer moving. (((WHAT?!?))) Well, they sold their old house in anticpation of relocating, so they are now moving into one, approximately 2 miles from the old abode. Mixed feelings run rampant. I do enjoy the girl, a lot. But I will forever feel terribly guilty if I decide to quit the program. This is something the case managers really needs to warn you about beforehand.

She spent the night with me last weekend. Yes, I caved. But only when I thought she was moving. Oh, and her little brother wanted to come. What? You think I’m that crazy? I picked her up at 7:00 p.m. and two movies, three brownies, and lots of gabbing later, we finally were ready to go to bed. As we were washing our faces and brushing our teeth (despite her pleas that she didn’t have to brush her teeth before bed…yeah right), I noticed that her play makeup bag was next to my real one, her brush was strategically placed next to mine, her shoes were lined up, yup you guessed it, next to mine. We spent the next five minutes making sure everything in her backback found a home comprable to mine. My best friend called it “cute”. I called it “pressure”…not to mess her up more than I help her. Ahh…a taste of the endless stress parents have.

Her birthday was yesterday. I called to see how she was celebrating. She thought they may have a get-together today. “With your friends?” I asked.
“I’m not sure,” she replied, her voice oozing with disapointment.
Changing the subject, and hoping for ideas for the present I haven’t bought yet, I asked, “What do you want to get?”
“A laptop.”
“Wow, anything else?”
“A cell phone or a scooter.”
Yikes…how about anything under $10? I’m on a tight budget. (((Help!)))

Old Friends Rock

I’ve always been blessed with amazing, true friends, male and female. And, yes, I do believe it is possible for men and women to be best friends. Boundaries are a beautiful thing. When I tell folks now about my relationships with my high school buddies, most shake their head in awe. (Jealous or skeptical? :) ). Most of the cattiness and hatred that seems to pervade schools now (Think Mean Girls) miraculously skipped my class (or perhaps I was too naive to notice it).

As one of my best guy friends was married a couple Saturdays ago, I was once again surrounded by all of my fabulous buddies from back in the day. Our days of old included wasting countless hours swimming, eating, procrastinating homework, driving around, and living a relatively carefree life. Two hours into the reception, when my cheeks ached and belly was strained from excessive giggling, I was once again reminded of what we had and never failed to take for granted. In an effort to reclaim lost feelings, here is my list of why old friends are the best.

-You never have to make small talk
-Inside jokes
-The only hand shakes used are the elaborate ones made up in junior high, and sadly you still remember them
-All the stupid mistakes made are now fodder for poking fun
-Time passed between visits is irrelevant
-No pretenses allowed
-Any silence is inevitably broken by “Remember that time when…”
-Their parents are now your friends too
-They are the family you’d choose to have
-Blatant honesty, whether you want it or not
-Unconditional love and forgiveness

2 Weeks Left

To end the panic I am sure all two of you are feeling about my last post...it was the B and F combination that oddly lent to a delightfully entertaining evening. I fondly remember the night as a high school reunion with only the people that I really wanted to see.

I just received word that it is now legal to have overnights with our littles. As much as I'm a fan of what the Big Brothers, Big Sisters program represents and accomplishes, I still cannot figure out why they would want to torture their adult volunteers like this. Angel has been counting down the days for months like it's Christmas, and her grandmother has mentioned it no less than the last ten times I have dropped her off at home.

Let's put this into perspective, shall we? I'm not a mother and my youngest sibling is 26. Therefore, I do not store toys, kid movies, or anything even remotely entertaining at my house. And while I understand that shattering lamps, crystal vases, and my Irish pottery can be thoroughly amusing, no one wants to see the evil side of me emerge. Trust me. (There are no witnesses...)

So how do I entertain an 8 year old, who never sleeps the night through (and I thoroughly enjoy 8-10 hours of blissful uninteruption on the weekends), for an entire night?? Come on BB/BS, give me some ideas or rescue me!! Or how about abolishing this ridiculous rule? Seems fair to me. But alas, she is moving to Arizona in 2 weeks, so I suppose it's possible I cave. Just call me the dream giver. Okay, now I feel bad. Great, we'll probably have two slumber parties now, just to make up for my sarcasm.

I'll be tired and grouchy for the next 2 weeks. From the slumber parties, of course...not from her moving away. Right.

Another One Bites The Dust

Well, I'm going to throw the truth out like I just did my breakfast leftovers. I hate weddings. For many reasons, of which I'll spare you the details. Phew, speaking the truth is thoroughly cleansing. Any valid excuse and I decline attendance. However, I readily admit this past Saturday was perhaps the lone exception to the rule.

How is that possible?

A) The hottest man in the room was on my arm
B) I witnessed a random streaking incident
C) My dance lessons paid off and I showed off all night
D) The maid of honor tripped walking up the aisle
E) I secretly tied the knot
F) I ran into an ex-boyfriend or four
G) I'm a sucker for bubbles

No Phone Home

Okay, so I abhor wasting time by making multiple trips when something can be feasibly accomplished in one. For example, after getting groceries, I only want to make one trip from my car to the house no matter how many plastic bags line my trunk. Despite the fact that this routinely leads to deep gouges up my arms and telling scratches along my entry hall wall. We all have our quirks...don't judge. :)

Yesterday afternoon, I was working outside, but once my rear became numb from sitting on concrete, I decided it would prudent to make use of a comfy chair situated in the window. So I loaded up my books, notebooks, pens, drink, and cell phone, and cautiously opened the door. All was well, until the back swing, when my cell phone took flight and crashed into the Italian marble flooring. (Well...it's really tile, but marble sounds way more posh.)

As I rescued my baby, and only form of communication with the outside world (besides email and blogging, of course), I realized it was only in two pieces. Not bad...phone and battery. Easy enough to fix. Well, not when you break the clasps and the battery no longer attaches. After almost having a panic attack, I immediately embarked on a mission to the cell phone store. Waited in line only to find out they just sold the last battery. Rats! But they were kind of enough to tell me about another store specializing in only batteries. Again, no luck. I'll spare you the minute details, but after strike three and ten dollars in gas, I hit the jack pot. No, I didn't get the battery for free as I was secretly praying for, but a fine gentlemen scotch taped the battery to my phone. Brilliant (in my best British accent).

So now it's back in action for mere pennies...but I have this mysterious rash from where the tape is rubbing on my jaw. If only I had a picture of this trashy, I mean trendy, contraption to share...

World Famous? Nah

I daresay it's time the Topeka Zoo remove the "World Famous" moniker...

While this has been a passing thought over the years, I hadn't scoped birds there since my last field trip in the fifth grade, so I didn't feel qualified to make the final declaration. But considering it was BBQ at the Zoo on Saturday (free food, my friends), I decided to take Angel for a little look-see. I was scammed by grandma into taking her little brother too.

So hand-in-hand we stalked tigers, peered at monkeys, and nuzzled lions (albeit a dead one). Realistically, we could have seen everything in the zoo in under thirty minutes, even dodging oversized strollers and wandering kids. Very few exotic animals are left on the premises and the ones in the cages looked bored and beaten into a sad existence, like Picasso forced to crunch numbers in a cubicle 24 hours a day.

Now, let's get something clear--I'm not a zoo expert. But I doubt I'd drive across town to see this zoo again, let alone come from Zimbabwe or Namibia. So how about being a bit more realistic and changing the name to "The Topeka Zoo--It's All We Got" or "The Locally Abstained from Topeka Zoo"? Ah, yes, my marketing professors would be proud.

7 Benefits

My pastor shared the seven benefits Paul told us we received once we were saved and I thought I'd list them here, so we can all celebrate together! :) (All verses KJV)

1) We have peace with God: "Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." Romans 5:1

2) We have access to God: "By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand..." Romans 5:2

3) We have hope in life: "...and rejoice in hope of the glory of God." Romans 5:2

4) Our problems have a purpose: "And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience, and experience, hope." Romans 5:3-4

5) We have the Holy Spirit: "And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us." Romans 5:5

6) We are loved: "For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:6-8

7) We have eternal security: "Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him." Romans 5:9

Random Thought

I went for a walk the other day and saw a young girl, around eight years old, riding her pink two-wheeled bike along the sidewalk across the street from me. Her long, blonde hair was flowing behind her, and she had a matching pink backpack strapped across her back. She was strolling gracefully along the path, in no hurry.

Like a speeding bullet, a boy, probably 12, came barreling behind her, screaming as he almost rubbed her tires with his own. She was so startled, she yelled in horror, and jumped off her bike, landing in the grass. He gleefully rode past her, snickering, while a devilish smile split his face in two.

So what did I think of? How often do we let someone come up behind us and scare us off course? Did he really mean her harm? No, he just wanted to get a reaction out of her and take her place in the lead. She could have sped up and joined in the race, but instead she stopped and gave him the clear lead without putting up a fight. She gave up too easily. When have we done the same, letting some tiny setback throw us off course? Let's get back on the bike and win the race.

Cleaning House

Monday was spent delving through all of my grandmother's possessions. Dividing every material good into piles bound for charity, auction, or the trash bin. This was the first time I have ever gone through someone's personal effects, and I found it extremely interesting.

What was important to her? The antique sewing machine or the latest trendy plate from the mall? Her wedding picture or the closets full of Christmas decorations? How do I remember her?

It made me stop and consider my own house (and life). What would people discover if they looked through my belongings? Would my love for my family, friends, and people in general be evident, or would it look like I spent all of my life holed up reading books? How do I want people to remember me? Maybe it's time I clear out the clutter in my life and house and get back to the basics of what is really important...before it's too late.

Grandmother

My grandmother passed away last week and is now living her real life in heaven. She struggled through the past year, battling cancer, blood clots, head trauma, and knee surgery. A stark contrast to her now glorified, pain-free existence.

I was asked to write a poem to read at her funeral. I also talked about her life, legacy, and her future, but I will only post the poem here. She signed all of our birthday/Christmas cards with her trademark XXXOOO. As we were sorting through her paperwork earlier this week, I found a birthday card she had written to me in March (my birthday is in November). Her final XXXOOO sent my way, until we meet again. (Interesting, considering the title of my tribute poem.)

XXX
OOO
From Heaven’s Angel of Cards

In Corning, 1930, her first breaths were taken,
She grew into a woman, too tough to be shaken.

A Lillis native, then on to Frankfort, her primary residence,
With two brothers, sisters, niece, and Ed and Vera, her parents.

To giving quarters to the quietest grandkid in the car,
Or spending every waking moment down at the bar.

Is how we remember her, healthy and whole,
An exceptional woman with a lovely soul.

Though her life paths were treacherous and the journey was involved,
It molded her into a woman of admirable courage and willful resolve.

The sands of time surrounded her for seventy-five years,
Polishing her astounding character to become shiny and clear.

The extra time God gave us, allowed us to say our goodbyes,
Though we know He was calling her home, to heaven on high.

We longed for a few more good weeks, to make her dreams come true.
A trip to Vegas and one more KU game to cheer the red and blue.

Our hearts are heavy-laden, but we will always remember her impact on our lives.
Her generosity and love, and to be a fighter like her, may we always strive.

Longing to hear her wisdom and the sound of her voice, we may dial 4272,
But she will not answer, so we’ll send our messages to heaven, care of you.

As her daughter brushed away her final stream of tears and professed her love,
Those mementos of misery were laid to rest, while her spirit soared above.

Her family has not lived without her presence for even a day,
Knowing she’s gone leaves a gaping hole in every way.

We can’t seem to fathom life without her here.
Help us, Lord, to celebrate her life and keep her memories near.

But God welcomed her home with an amazing party and feast.
And sang her an original song that rang from heaven’s west to east.

He danced with her in fields full of colors we’ve never seen in any story,
But with every breath we will miss her until our reunion in heaven’s glory.

Pet Peeves

First of all... SOUL PATROL, baby! :)

**********

We all have them...those things that drives us bonkers or make us want to climb under the covers and hide. Whistling inside a car or saying "anyways" are a few of mine. Perhaps these bother you as well, or maybe not. After all, they are my pet peeves. But I'm sure you have a few of your own.

A bit of history on the phrase: "Peeve" comes from the 14th-century word pevish, meaning ornery or ill-tempered. The first time "pet peeve" was used in print was 1911, meaning a minor annoyance that can instill extreme frustration in a person. You're telling me! :)

After grocery shopping this morning at the local Wal-Mart, I returned to my vehicle to unload my basket full of various produce and goods. In the empty car stall next to mine, a lone cart sat, just waiting for a gusty Kansas wind to flail it into the black Ford Explorer downwind. Being a good citizen, I returned it to the appropriate stall along with mine.

As I exited the parking lot, ready to turn down a steep hill, I idled behind a beige indiscriminate SUV, when out of nowhere a flying, blue, plastic basket barrelled its way down the busy intersection. Vehicles dogded left and right, running and gunning to narrowly avoid the path of destruction coursed by the runaway Wal-Mart cart. After several tense seconds of praying the cart wouldn't stray toward me...it finally came to rest against a curb.

If I hadn't spent those precious seconds putting away the first cart, I would have been in the direct line of fire of that torpedo.

I have a new pet peeve. What are yours?