First Book Deal

Well, today I was offered my first children's book deal. Yippee! It was thrilling to get such great feedback from an editor. However, as I reviewed the contract, there were some definite red flags and questions that I had. So...I'm going to chew on the details for a couple days, ask questions to some of my writer friends, and hopefully by next week I'll know if Cinderella's slipper is a size 8. If not, I'm still thankful for God sending me some (much needed) encouragement.

As a good friend reminded me today: "Sometimes the Lord doesn't give us what we want, but what we need." Amen.

Angel Updates

Angel is no longer moving. (((WHAT?!?))) Well, they sold their old house in anticpation of relocating, so they are now moving into one, approximately 2 miles from the old abode. Mixed feelings run rampant. I do enjoy the girl, a lot. But I will forever feel terribly guilty if I decide to quit the program. This is something the case managers really needs to warn you about beforehand.

She spent the night with me last weekend. Yes, I caved. But only when I thought she was moving. Oh, and her little brother wanted to come. What? You think I’m that crazy? I picked her up at 7:00 p.m. and two movies, three brownies, and lots of gabbing later, we finally were ready to go to bed. As we were washing our faces and brushing our teeth (despite her pleas that she didn’t have to brush her teeth before bed…yeah right), I noticed that her play makeup bag was next to my real one, her brush was strategically placed next to mine, her shoes were lined up, yup you guessed it, next to mine. We spent the next five minutes making sure everything in her backback found a home comprable to mine. My best friend called it “cute”. I called it “pressure”…not to mess her up more than I help her. Ahh…a taste of the endless stress parents have.

Her birthday was yesterday. I called to see how she was celebrating. She thought they may have a get-together today. “With your friends?” I asked.
“I’m not sure,” she replied, her voice oozing with disapointment.
Changing the subject, and hoping for ideas for the present I haven’t bought yet, I asked, “What do you want to get?”
“A laptop.”
“Wow, anything else?”
“A cell phone or a scooter.”
Yikes…how about anything under $10? I’m on a tight budget. (((Help!)))

Old Friends Rock

I’ve always been blessed with amazing, true friends, male and female. And, yes, I do believe it is possible for men and women to be best friends. Boundaries are a beautiful thing. When I tell folks now about my relationships with my high school buddies, most shake their head in awe. (Jealous or skeptical? :) ). Most of the cattiness and hatred that seems to pervade schools now (Think Mean Girls) miraculously skipped my class (or perhaps I was too naive to notice it).

As one of my best guy friends was married a couple Saturdays ago, I was once again surrounded by all of my fabulous buddies from back in the day. Our days of old included wasting countless hours swimming, eating, procrastinating homework, driving around, and living a relatively carefree life. Two hours into the reception, when my cheeks ached and belly was strained from excessive giggling, I was once again reminded of what we had and never failed to take for granted. In an effort to reclaim lost feelings, here is my list of why old friends are the best.

-You never have to make small talk
-Inside jokes
-The only hand shakes used are the elaborate ones made up in junior high, and sadly you still remember them
-All the stupid mistakes made are now fodder for poking fun
-Time passed between visits is irrelevant
-No pretenses allowed
-Any silence is inevitably broken by “Remember that time when…”
-Their parents are now your friends too
-They are the family you’d choose to have
-Blatant honesty, whether you want it or not
-Unconditional love and forgiveness

2 Weeks Left

To end the panic I am sure all two of you are feeling about my last post...it was the B and F combination that oddly lent to a delightfully entertaining evening. I fondly remember the night as a high school reunion with only the people that I really wanted to see.

I just received word that it is now legal to have overnights with our littles. As much as I'm a fan of what the Big Brothers, Big Sisters program represents and accomplishes, I still cannot figure out why they would want to torture their adult volunteers like this. Angel has been counting down the days for months like it's Christmas, and her grandmother has mentioned it no less than the last ten times I have dropped her off at home.

Let's put this into perspective, shall we? I'm not a mother and my youngest sibling is 26. Therefore, I do not store toys, kid movies, or anything even remotely entertaining at my house. And while I understand that shattering lamps, crystal vases, and my Irish pottery can be thoroughly amusing, no one wants to see the evil side of me emerge. Trust me. (There are no witnesses...)

So how do I entertain an 8 year old, who never sleeps the night through (and I thoroughly enjoy 8-10 hours of blissful uninteruption on the weekends), for an entire night?? Come on BB/BS, give me some ideas or rescue me!! Or how about abolishing this ridiculous rule? Seems fair to me. But alas, she is moving to Arizona in 2 weeks, so I suppose it's possible I cave. Just call me the dream giver. Okay, now I feel bad. Great, we'll probably have two slumber parties now, just to make up for my sarcasm.

I'll be tired and grouchy for the next 2 weeks. From the slumber parties, of course...not from her moving away. Right.

Another One Bites The Dust

Well, I'm going to throw the truth out like I just did my breakfast leftovers. I hate weddings. For many reasons, of which I'll spare you the details. Phew, speaking the truth is thoroughly cleansing. Any valid excuse and I decline attendance. However, I readily admit this past Saturday was perhaps the lone exception to the rule.

How is that possible?

A) The hottest man in the room was on my arm
B) I witnessed a random streaking incident
C) My dance lessons paid off and I showed off all night
D) The maid of honor tripped walking up the aisle
E) I secretly tied the knot
F) I ran into an ex-boyfriend or four
G) I'm a sucker for bubbles

No Phone Home

Okay, so I abhor wasting time by making multiple trips when something can be feasibly accomplished in one. For example, after getting groceries, I only want to make one trip from my car to the house no matter how many plastic bags line my trunk. Despite the fact that this routinely leads to deep gouges up my arms and telling scratches along my entry hall wall. We all have our quirks...don't judge. :)

Yesterday afternoon, I was working outside, but once my rear became numb from sitting on concrete, I decided it would prudent to make use of a comfy chair situated in the window. So I loaded up my books, notebooks, pens, drink, and cell phone, and cautiously opened the door. All was well, until the back swing, when my cell phone took flight and crashed into the Italian marble flooring. (Well...it's really tile, but marble sounds way more posh.)

As I rescued my baby, and only form of communication with the outside world (besides email and blogging, of course), I realized it was only in two pieces. Not bad...phone and battery. Easy enough to fix. Well, not when you break the clasps and the battery no longer attaches. After almost having a panic attack, I immediately embarked on a mission to the cell phone store. Waited in line only to find out they just sold the last battery. Rats! But they were kind of enough to tell me about another store specializing in only batteries. Again, no luck. I'll spare you the minute details, but after strike three and ten dollars in gas, I hit the jack pot. No, I didn't get the battery for free as I was secretly praying for, but a fine gentlemen scotch taped the battery to my phone. Brilliant (in my best British accent).

So now it's back in action for mere pennies...but I have this mysterious rash from where the tape is rubbing on my jaw. If only I had a picture of this trashy, I mean trendy, contraption to share...

World Famous? Nah

I daresay it's time the Topeka Zoo remove the "World Famous" moniker...

While this has been a passing thought over the years, I hadn't scoped birds there since my last field trip in the fifth grade, so I didn't feel qualified to make the final declaration. But considering it was BBQ at the Zoo on Saturday (free food, my friends), I decided to take Angel for a little look-see. I was scammed by grandma into taking her little brother too.

So hand-in-hand we stalked tigers, peered at monkeys, and nuzzled lions (albeit a dead one). Realistically, we could have seen everything in the zoo in under thirty minutes, even dodging oversized strollers and wandering kids. Very few exotic animals are left on the premises and the ones in the cages looked bored and beaten into a sad existence, like Picasso forced to crunch numbers in a cubicle 24 hours a day.

Now, let's get something clear--I'm not a zoo expert. But I doubt I'd drive across town to see this zoo again, let alone come from Zimbabwe or Namibia. So how about being a bit more realistic and changing the name to "The Topeka Zoo--It's All We Got" or "The Locally Abstained from Topeka Zoo"? Ah, yes, my marketing professors would be proud.

7 Benefits

My pastor shared the seven benefits Paul told us we received once we were saved and I thought I'd list them here, so we can all celebrate together! :) (All verses KJV)

1) We have peace with God: "Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." Romans 5:1

2) We have access to God: "By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand..." Romans 5:2

3) We have hope in life: "...and rejoice in hope of the glory of God." Romans 5:2

4) Our problems have a purpose: "And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience, and experience, hope." Romans 5:3-4

5) We have the Holy Spirit: "And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us." Romans 5:5

6) We are loved: "For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:6-8

7) We have eternal security: "Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him." Romans 5:9

Random Thought

I went for a walk the other day and saw a young girl, around eight years old, riding her pink two-wheeled bike along the sidewalk across the street from me. Her long, blonde hair was flowing behind her, and she had a matching pink backpack strapped across her back. She was strolling gracefully along the path, in no hurry.

Like a speeding bullet, a boy, probably 12, came barreling behind her, screaming as he almost rubbed her tires with his own. She was so startled, she yelled in horror, and jumped off her bike, landing in the grass. He gleefully rode past her, snickering, while a devilish smile split his face in two.

So what did I think of? How often do we let someone come up behind us and scare us off course? Did he really mean her harm? No, he just wanted to get a reaction out of her and take her place in the lead. She could have sped up and joined in the race, but instead she stopped and gave him the clear lead without putting up a fight. She gave up too easily. When have we done the same, letting some tiny setback throw us off course? Let's get back on the bike and win the race.

Cleaning House

Monday was spent delving through all of my grandmother's possessions. Dividing every material good into piles bound for charity, auction, or the trash bin. This was the first time I have ever gone through someone's personal effects, and I found it extremely interesting.

What was important to her? The antique sewing machine or the latest trendy plate from the mall? Her wedding picture or the closets full of Christmas decorations? How do I remember her?

It made me stop and consider my own house (and life). What would people discover if they looked through my belongings? Would my love for my family, friends, and people in general be evident, or would it look like I spent all of my life holed up reading books? How do I want people to remember me? Maybe it's time I clear out the clutter in my life and house and get back to the basics of what is really important...before it's too late.

Grandmother

My grandmother passed away last week and is now living her real life in heaven. She struggled through the past year, battling cancer, blood clots, head trauma, and knee surgery. A stark contrast to her now glorified, pain-free existence.

I was asked to write a poem to read at her funeral. I also talked about her life, legacy, and her future, but I will only post the poem here. She signed all of our birthday/Christmas cards with her trademark XXXOOO. As we were sorting through her paperwork earlier this week, I found a birthday card she had written to me in March (my birthday is in November). Her final XXXOOO sent my way, until we meet again. (Interesting, considering the title of my tribute poem.)

XXX
OOO
From Heaven’s Angel of Cards

In Corning, 1930, her first breaths were taken,
She grew into a woman, too tough to be shaken.

A Lillis native, then on to Frankfort, her primary residence,
With two brothers, sisters, niece, and Ed and Vera, her parents.

To giving quarters to the quietest grandkid in the car,
Or spending every waking moment down at the bar.

Is how we remember her, healthy and whole,
An exceptional woman with a lovely soul.

Though her life paths were treacherous and the journey was involved,
It molded her into a woman of admirable courage and willful resolve.

The sands of time surrounded her for seventy-five years,
Polishing her astounding character to become shiny and clear.

The extra time God gave us, allowed us to say our goodbyes,
Though we know He was calling her home, to heaven on high.

We longed for a few more good weeks, to make her dreams come true.
A trip to Vegas and one more KU game to cheer the red and blue.

Our hearts are heavy-laden, but we will always remember her impact on our lives.
Her generosity and love, and to be a fighter like her, may we always strive.

Longing to hear her wisdom and the sound of her voice, we may dial 4272,
But she will not answer, so we’ll send our messages to heaven, care of you.

As her daughter brushed away her final stream of tears and professed her love,
Those mementos of misery were laid to rest, while her spirit soared above.

Her family has not lived without her presence for even a day,
Knowing she’s gone leaves a gaping hole in every way.

We can’t seem to fathom life without her here.
Help us, Lord, to celebrate her life and keep her memories near.

But God welcomed her home with an amazing party and feast.
And sang her an original song that rang from heaven’s west to east.

He danced with her in fields full of colors we’ve never seen in any story,
But with every breath we will miss her until our reunion in heaven’s glory.

Pet Peeves

First of all... SOUL PATROL, baby! :)

**********

We all have them...those things that drives us bonkers or make us want to climb under the covers and hide. Whistling inside a car or saying "anyways" are a few of mine. Perhaps these bother you as well, or maybe not. After all, they are my pet peeves. But I'm sure you have a few of your own.

A bit of history on the phrase: "Peeve" comes from the 14th-century word pevish, meaning ornery or ill-tempered. The first time "pet peeve" was used in print was 1911, meaning a minor annoyance that can instill extreme frustration in a person. You're telling me! :)

After grocery shopping this morning at the local Wal-Mart, I returned to my vehicle to unload my basket full of various produce and goods. In the empty car stall next to mine, a lone cart sat, just waiting for a gusty Kansas wind to flail it into the black Ford Explorer downwind. Being a good citizen, I returned it to the appropriate stall along with mine.

As I exited the parking lot, ready to turn down a steep hill, I idled behind a beige indiscriminate SUV, when out of nowhere a flying, blue, plastic basket barrelled its way down the busy intersection. Vehicles dogded left and right, running and gunning to narrowly avoid the path of destruction coursed by the runaway Wal-Mart cart. After several tense seconds of praying the cart wouldn't stray toward me...it finally came to rest against a curb.

If I hadn't spent those precious seconds putting away the first cart, I would have been in the direct line of fire of that torpedo.

I have a new pet peeve. What are yours?

Flat Tire

Nothing like a flat tire on the way to visit extended family to complete the weekend, huh? As my family was traveling to my twin cousins' high school graduation on Saturday, one of the tires on my parent's SUV decided it was too tired to continue the journey, and solidified its case by quickly relinquishing its air.

Things to be thankful for in the middle of a stressful situation:

• Daylight
• Safe place to pull over
• 3 men
• Full-sized spare
• Towels to keep slacks clean
• Wet wipes to wash hands
• Time

I love experiencing God's faithfulness.

A Trail of Kindness

Is anybody happier
Because you passed his way?
Does anyone remember
That you spoke to him today?
This day is almost over,
And its toiling time is through;
Is there anyone to utter now
A friendly word for you?
Can you say tonight in passing
With the days that slipped so fast,
That you helped a single person,
Of the many that you passed?
Is a single heart rejoicing
Over what you did or said?
Does one whose hopes were fading
Now with courage look ahead?
Did you waste the day, or lose it?
Was it well or poorly spent?
Did you leave a trail of kindness
Or a scar of discontent?
~Anonymous~

Pouring Rain and Mercy

As the old saying goes, "when it rains, it pours." I want to deny this tendency, but as it epitomizes my life of late, the cliché once again proves itself real. My natural tendencies asked me to list each of my problems and for you to listen attentively, as my therapist, mentor, and/or friend. (Thank you in advance for saving me thousands of dollars and countless lunch hours on a couch.)

But alas, after the many ups and downs over the past few days, I finally uncovered the thread of grace stabilizing each of my issues. Selfishly, I could wonder why I had to go through this or that, but instead I will choose to see God's deliverance. Whether it was filling me with peace about the future of a sick loved one or miraculously fixing my dead-in-the-water laptop, He never abandoned me, but continuously poured his grace upon me.

Can I say that I gave Him all the faith He deserved? Can I say I warranted His help? Can I say I never got upset or worried? I wish. But praise God for His patience, love, grace, and mercy, in the middle of any storm. All the attributes I need. Hmm…a correlation perhaps?

Covered in Feathers?

(Psalm 91:4 NLT) "...He will shelter you with his feathers..."

Huh? What kind of sheltering can God do with feathers? That was my question to Him this morning, during my daily reading. This verse jumped off the page and lodged itself in my muddled brain, begging for clarification. I know God can do anything He wants, but why would He choose to use feathers?

My trains (yes, I mean multiple) of thought while searching for clarification:

Feathers...soft, inviting, definitely not something I would choose to make a shelter out of, especially if there are any rocks or wood lying around.
Is this related to God's character?
Maybe a different translation will help.
God bless America, where I can have several translations at my disposal on my nightstand without persecution.
"He will cover you with his feathers..." (NIV)
Cover, shelter, cover, shelter
Like the blood of Christ covers our sins?
Hmm...back to feathers
I know ostriches were pursued for their feathers, to be used for headdresses and shield ornaments.
So they must be beautiful.
Last I checked the "world famous" Topeka Zoo didn't have any ostriches, so I can't vouch.
People are drawn to beautiful things.
But what about, oh, say, eagle feathers?
I found a quote from Pliny (who was 10 when Jesus was crucified) that said eagle feathers were so powerful that if laid with any other, the eagle feathers would devour and consume all the rest.
So God rescues us from our troubles (taken from the previous verse), devours the sin in our lives, leaving us covered in His beauty. Now that is cool. Cover me with your feathers, Lord!

Chew on this and let me know if He reveals anything different to you.

Name of Jesus Concert

Last night, Jason Morant, Nate Sallie, Big Daddy Weave, and The Todd Agnew Band graced Wichita's presence with an intense concert. I was blessed to be able to attend, with full access passes, and quite possibly the best seat in the house. This refreshing concert is not about those men, but about coming together to worship God, as they will continually remind you.

JMo is gifted with both a beautiful voice and spirit. Chatting with him only epitomized his graciousness, humbleness, and friendly personality. He's so "Lovely" he needs to be headlining his own tour. (Picture upper left)

Nate Sallie--wow--that man can blast and is full of the "Holy Spirit." He was energetic and involved the crowd. Nate, I'm ruined.

BDW--love them. They were so much fun to watch and really know how to entertain an audience. I spoke with Mike a couple times. If I had to tour, I would want them along for the ride as they know who they are truly performing for--an "Audience of One."

The Todd Agnew band. I can't mention this group without first talking about Jonathan Chu. This talented and gracious young man, knows how to worship with his violin. He worked hard all night as the stage hand, gave an incredibly vivid performance, and still found time to talk to me several times. Todd is intense, insightful, and intelligent. His transparency and down-to-earth talks were heart rending, surprisingly humorous, and necessary. His music never fails to touch me, and seeing him perform live is even more wrenching. You will walk away desiring to be more like "My Jesus." (Picture upper right)

As the concert came to a close, I dreaded the final note Todd would wail. But it made me intensely long for the day where I will be able to worship for eternity, without having to stop and drive 3 hours through a Kansas springtime storm to arrive home in the wee hours of the morning. Oh, and maybe there I'll be able to carry a tune. :)

Impossible to walk away untouched, unmoved, or unchanged. "Be The Moon." If you don't know what that means...you need to go to the concert. You won't be disappointed.

Judging 4N6

This afternoon brought back fresh memories of experimenting with my acting chops: the sick feeling I never failed to get right before performing, doing everything in my power to impress the panel of judges piercingly staring at my every move, and rejoicing when I placed first. The National Forensics League competition for Kansas was today, and I was recruited by my former coach to judge Dramatic Interpretation and Humorous Interpretation. My specialty, oh so long ago, was Duo Interpretation. It was exciting to meet up with a couple of my fellow forensic friends and catch up on where our separate roads have led. Amazing how easy it is to lose touch. Anyhow, here are a couple of my comments:

• It is not necessary to incessantly scream (especially in a small classroom) for extra emphasis. Voice inflection and facial expressions, my dear, are equally powerful. And saves the judges at least four Advil.
• Chocolate (or unmarked bills) is the only acceptable form of bribery. Crying does not help.
• As a Christian, I try not to judge people. Isn't it fun when society finds a way to make sin acceptable?
• According to the leaflet, Dramatic Interp is supposed to make me cry...oh what, I'm sorry. I must have dozed off.
• As a contestant, you are not entitled to be bossy. Cockiness leads to ten minutes of me hearing blah, blah, blah, last place.

Uh oh, I think I'm supposed to learn some life lessons from this. I hate when that happens.

Angel's Picnic Fiasco

What does watching a child eat five chocolate chip cookies and a plate full of cheetos at a picnic get you?

1. Ten minutes of relaxation between swinging, playing catch, screaming, and climbing jungle gyms.

2. The end to five minutes of pouting because BBQ briscuit just isn't up to par with a hamburger and ketchup. (I'll spare you the details on the lack of Gatorade issue)

3. A sugar high that peaks during the awards ceremony. Restraints, anyone?

4. Ten sticky, orange fingers. I've never seen anyone attack a plate of cheetos with both hands before. Next car purchase...leather seats.

5. The inevitable upset tummy on the ride home. (Easter baskets can be used for a variety of purposes)

6. Hopefully her grandma felt the benefits of the sugar crash. I didn't stick around to find out.

Back to Name Dropping

So I promised more name dropping...today I will finally deliver. My major morning track at the conference was taught by none other than David Kopp. He wrote some of my favorite books including The Prayer of Jabez and The Dream Giver. I also purchased his latest, Roar. I recommend this beautifully illustrated book if you have any children interested in The Chronicles of Narnia. It's basically a work/guide book in association with Narnia.

I met Brandilyn Collins by accident at a fiction writer's breakfast. I really don't belong to that group, but they kindly invited me due to my association with my mentor, Julie Carobini. Julie has a book, Chocolate Beach, coming out in 2007, as well.

Kay Strom was one of the key note speakers, and I bought her Daughters of Hope book. I had the opportunity to speak with her for a minute. A truly lovely lady who sheds new light on the state of Christian women across the world. I had no idea torture and persecution still existed, let alone to the levels that prevail many cultures. This book will open your eyes and make you realize how blessed we are as Americans and challenge you to make a difference.

There are too many others to list here, but I must give a shout out to my incredible roommate, Tasra Dawson. She is self-publishing her first book this fall, so I wish her all the best in that venture!